Wayne
Manning Here we are, a bit more than a month into our New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine: (1) to make a million dollars, (2) to become fantastically fit and healthy, and (3) to have every relationship in my life be perfect in every way. These are the same ones I made last year, but I didn’t quite get there, so I’m making them again. Why are our New Year’s intentions often so difficult to make real? So difficult we turn them into jokes? The joking masks frustration, I think. We want something to change but we often have no real plan. Our resolutions are often vague, unrealistic, and dependent on external factors. We put them in “deprivation terms” that our subconscious mind doesn’t like, for example, “I want to LOSE weight.” “I want to STOP smoking.” We try to change behavior as though we could magically do that in January, forgetting that old behaviors are deeply rooted in a “thought climate” that must be changed first, if the behavioral change is to last. If our unwanted behavior includes such things as too much alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and the like, then of course we want to stop the behavior, any way we can. But we must also address the “inner behaviors,” the thought habits that give rise to the outer demonstrations. We want to turn the “stop” into a positive movement toward something else. We want to embrace a new behavior, a new life, a new way of being. “Neither is new wine put into old wineskins,” Jesus said. “… if it is, the skins burst, and the wine is spilled, and the skins are destroyed…” (Mt 9:17) It is very difficult to establish a new, lasting, desirable behavior if we don’t address the thinking underneath that supports the undesirable old one. Jesus goes on, “… but new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.” We want to develop a new way of thinking about the changes we want to make in our lives. There are surely many ways to do this, but here is a method that is simple and works for me. If we would see our resolutions come to life, remember the “Three R’s” … our resolutions must be Realistic, Robust, and Repeated. Here is what I mean. If our resolutions are realistic they are reasonable and in our control as much as possible. I may want a million dollars this year, but do I know how to go about getting them? Not really. I didn’t know how last year and I don’t know how today. If, however, I had earned $800,000 last year I would know how, and a million would be pretty realistic. But that’s not the case. For me, now, a million dollars annual income is not realistic. I might win the lottery, but that’s out of my control, and the odds are very long! It’s more realistic to reduce the amount to something my current financial level of consciousness will accept as believable. I’m not giving up on the million over time, but creating a more realistic pathway to it. I am raising both my financial consciousness and my capacity to receive incrementally. So rather than establish some unbelievable number, a more workable resolution and affirmation might be, “My capacity to receive increases day by day, as I go to meet my good.” It is remarkable how our capacity to receive expands when we speak or think an affirmation such as this daily. Our resolution statements should be robust. They should have some punch, some energy! They should excite us about the desired outcome! Suppose you want to be more energetic and focused this year. Try this: “I have energy and purpose.” Now try this: “I fairly sizzle with zeal and enthusiasm and I spring forth with a mighty faith to do the things that ought to be done by me!” (A wonderful affirmation first spoken by Unity’s co-founder, Charles Fillmore, in his 94th year!) Which has the most power? Think about why you came up with the resolution in the first place, and put some pizzazz in the language! If the pizzazz won’t come, check to see if the resolution is really for someone else. If we’re trying to change to please someone else, that’s a sure recipe for disappointment. We must want deeply to change, for ourselves, from the inside out. Finally, our resolutions must be repeated, often, if they are to effect change in our deepest levels of thinking and feeling. Writing them down once and putting them away is not particularly motivating. It is helpful to put them on the refrigerator, on the bathroom mirror, or on a three-by-five card in our pocket. Tape them on a cassette recorder and play them back while driving. We incrementally “program” ourselves for success when we do this. The word “program” in this image is an apt metaphor. Isn’t this God-given brain that we have the most magnificent computer known to us? The programming we give it is vital! “Garbage in, garbage out” is just as true in what we feed our minds as it is in literal computer programming. Those who study such things say we literally create new neural pathways in our brains with repetition, until the new thinking manifests as new behavior. After all, that’s how the undesirable behavior started, with a repetition of thoughts and feelings until the behavior became visible. Realistic, Robust, and Repeated! Not just for a day, or a week, or a month, but until we see the desired result. We can turn these “Three R’s” into a regular practice by doing just three more things: (1) create a practical plan, and fill it with prayer; (2) bite off small, realistic chunks; and (3) expect to succeed. It works!
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